Saturday 10 September 2011

MOON FESTIVAL, CABRAMATTA


THIS IS THE SICKEST FESTIVAL EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


To back up this claim, we have provided some visual evidence + captions giving reason to the sickness of Cabramatta's Moon Festival, courtesy of WEG:


^^^ cherry blossom trees + lanterns + beautiful lighting = sick

^^^ moon festival dragon parade = S.I.C.K.


^^^ shrines in every corner of every corner store = sick


^^^ dragon heads on sidewalk = sicker


^^^ headless dragons = sick



^^^ moon festival parade memorabilia + kimonos = pretty damn sickk

 
^^^^ frozen sugar ice cream balls that are only sold at paddys markets and chinese new years stalls =  so sickkkk

^^^ communal dining + magical lanterns = slightly sick

^^^ embellished pop up temples = sick

^^^ floral arrangements at pop up embellished temples = sick


^^^ beautiful colourful printed rubbish in the gutters = $$$1ck


^^^ festive rubbish (NOTE: the chop sticks/lanterns) = sorta sick


^^^ real life anime royalty = SICKCKKCKCKCCKKCCKKCKCKCKCKC

^^^ asian pagent runner up circa 2008 = so sick i almost vomited at this point from the sickness of this fully sick six sick festival


and thus concludes this memoir, of the epiphany in which we had succombed to i.e that that this festival is................................................................................................................................................................................................sick


(thus also concludes our use of the word sick for, like, the next decade, or lifetime or so)

WEST END LUAU

This is how we do......with an emty crib in the west side

















CAKE IT AWAY ILLLIN, MERRYLANDS


My earliest memory of Merrylands Rd's Cake It Away store was in high school in the west when our grade nine commerce teacher told us about the time she was hired as a training employee for like 2 weeks when really she was hired to do all the shit work for no money then told she didm't get the job.......which is pretty typical of the west i guess......

This is cake it away at night time, where in the not so distant distance you can hear the merry merrylands alcoholics and underage catholic school girls gettin their drank on from the lil bottler probably only cause they have $3 wine and the shop is owned by a lebo family (matez ratez).....but anyway the platform steps of Cake It Away, at night time, is where we like to eat our pizza hut pizza with the live entertainment of sexy lebo cars pumpin out sexy lebo beats 


Also once my mum bought a cake from here and it was nice-ish, AND i heard my sister's teacher bought pavlova and it was pretty damn excellent

and they're all my memories of Merrylands Rd Cake It Away. 
it's merry
it's on a road
it's Cake
what more could you possibly ask for? HUH?

BEST CHILL SPOT IN THE WEST, SINCERELY.......



*UPDATE (19/5/2012)*
WEG regrets to inform you that the platform steps of Cake It Away blew away in a freak storn the other night. Not literally blew away but collapsed or something like that. WEG are yet to witness the extent of the damage and will probably just avoid going here from now on in order to minimise the grief caused by the loss of these platform steps..... Time to find another chill spot...............

GHETTO CHILLS, FAIRFIELD

Sneaky snaps from a chill party in a west end crib











7 GREAT THINGS ABOUT BLACK TOWN DRIVE INS



There are at least 7 great things about the 'Greater Union Blacktown Twin Drive In's'.

 And so the countdown begins...

7. It is the only one in a large geographical area

The strange thing about this particular drive in is that it is actually the ONLY drive in within the whole Sydney area. The west is actually the place to be, if you don't think the drive in is a good enough excuse to live here... then I don't know what is!

6. Cheap $$$$$$$$$$

This place is seriously CHEAP AS CHIPS! At any other inside cinema you pay at least $16 for a student ticket, at this drive in, you literally pay $12 for 2 movies! That's right.. TWO MOVIES! TWO ENTIRE FULL LENGTH MOVIES!!!!!!! That means you are only paying $6 for a movie! Talk about more bang for your buck! If you wanna be ultra badass, and super tight ass, then you can also sneak a person in through your boot! This is a FULL PROOF idea as the workers are too 'we- don't-give-a-shit' to care, they also live in Blacktown which could also be a contributing factor???

5. Down the road from 'The Royal Cricketers Arms Hotel'

Fancy website... http://www.mycricketers.com.au/.  This place is actually FAMOUS to maybe people who enjoy cricket? I am not too sure but I can tell you that this place is super chill and is pretty fancy for Blacktown, they make really great food and in all seriousness, you HAVE to eat here before you watch your movie! But seriously, it is the only place to get real food from within 10 km of the drive ins! And on the plus side, if you park your car right on the hill in front of the hotel and can read lips, you just scored yourself a free movie... and not so free dinner!

4. Dark enough to sneak into

The drive in's are scarily easy to sneak into! All you have to do is drive in thru the exit and you are SET! The fellow drive in-er's will happily give you the radio station to which the audio of the movie is playing on as well! It is also a very easy place to go and have some sex.

3. Great 'Old School' Atmosphere

This place is heaps old school, which means be prepared for dodge-ville! The signs are discoloured and from the entrance to the canteen to the popcorn to the exit, I assure you, you don't have to worry about catching a disease or dyeing! It is all in the experience! The toilets are actually a replica from the movie 'Grease' drive in scene, and although the toilets were never shown in the movie, if you imagine them about 20 years old, well... you get the picture! 

2. You can score free tics to an indoor Greater Union (which is actually Events outside of Blacktown)

You may ask what could be so great about a seriously dodgy drive in cinema, well you will be shocked to discover that the Drive In's are probably one of the best places to go on a cold, windy and 100% sure it will rain night! If you wait long enough for the screen to be incapable of watching due to fog and the rain to take over, you will be presented with free tickets to ANY events/greater union cinema! YES, FREE! SCORE! If you took our advice and snuck in through the exit, then you just received 3 FREE movies in ONE night!

1. It is in the West

Enough said.

Thursday 18 August 2011

RITZ CAFE, FAIRFIELD

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Fairfield, sydney's most unsafe suburb, as voted by "booya" member of answers.yahoo.com is actually home to one of the sickest places to eat out for lunch. The ritz cafe is unofficially the most hipster friendly location in fairfield, what with all the 96.1 THE EDGE/LIVE SEXXXYY FM radio thats always pumping down there (yeah, we know you love beyonce), one would actually feel relatively safe in dear od unfairfield. We first went there when our friend and local fairfielder said that there was a cool cafe round fairfield's neeta city...we were sorta thinkin in our heads yeah right whatever but then once we passed the stores with sticky taped up gun holes through their shop fronts, we were all like oh fuck this is pretty sick ay nigs??!?!

feast your eyes upon the pretty sickness:

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dont let that lady scare you from comin to the ritz cafe she probably had tourettes cause she was fine when we were chillin near her happily drinking her ineapple drank...yes, thats right, WINTER PINEAPPLE MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!

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The cafe is overall pink in colour not really sure why but it does set a nice scene to eat saturdays lunch in and looks real great with the red neon lights...the cafe's sorta reminiscent of them new orlens jazz clubs early hipsters would chill in like fat club and the rest.....think of kerouac's on the road, you know, the only ones for me are the mad ones .....
.....mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, mad to eat some awesome food at this awesome joint etc etc etc

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but then again the cafe also most definitely echoes the diners of the 50's derrr and a jungle because of all of the ferns and shit they have chillin near the tables. i think this place would be complete with a juke box....yeah.....

the lady who owns/works at the store is pretty nice too and safe looking and lets you split bills which is cool for young niggas who dont make a lot of cash dollars and can only afford to pay for what they ordered.

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We ordered the chicken ceasar salad ($14), a vege focaccia ($10), a watermelon juice ($5) and a chicken burger lunch special that comes with a can of drank of your choice which is nice ($10).

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The food was all really great, the only problem is that the food is realllyyyy big, we're talkin like huge, dont think anyone could possibly go there and finish their whole meal unless they are a ridiculously hungry guy or if they are sharing or have the munchies or something. Yeah you should probably get high, real high before eating here if you plan on ever finishing a meal.... . The ceasar salad was particularly excellent because they aint cheese tightasses in fairfield like they are in granville. If you like cheese then definitely go to fairfield. The chicken burger came super hot and super fresh as did the focaccia but that wasnt hot because it had raw vegetables in it apart from the hot mushrooms. These were both great also. The $10 lunch specials we recommend because its always sweet getting a free drink, the lunch specials are a burger, a chicken burger or a steak sandwich. A steak sandwich is usually ordered and its the best but we mixed it up and ordered different stuff.

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they are also fans of football were guessing...and not bias to any team which is a lovely change because the west seems to be a lot like london in regards to their obbsession with tha footy, watch green street hooligans OR EVEN BETTER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Laq2AMU0Idg

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And if you didnt know, now ya know, you know. You now know that fairfield is actually not all tragic, so don't go joing groups like this one..... http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/I-hate-Fairfield-CA/226707384832 instead visit the ritz cafe, it;s a really good place to go to eat 7/10 much more enjoyable than granville on so many levels, like in granville those arabs who own the store dont really care about the food they are selling they just wanna make some moola but i guess you cant blame a nigga for making some moola, niggas gotta eat ya know.... then again..it aint all about the money money money.

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farewell fairfield...

OP SHOPPIN, WOODPARK

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Okay so we started going here round yr 8 to buy belts haha belts! lowl! anyway belt buying turned into bag buying and then everything buying really. Woodpark op shop is tha fucken bomb, its woodparks hidden secret...well its not really hidden theres nothing else in woodpark, its probably the west sides smallest suburb. ANYWAY we went here the other day not looking for anything in particular and the 77 yr old (thats right, 77, to be exact) ladies working there informed us that they have been saving all the stylish clothes for all the stylish youth that supposedly flood through the doors of wood park op shop.

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37 Dell St, Woodpark.